Kimblerama

chaosgrenade:

The car zooms and zips down the city streets of this night, its occupants laughing and smiling as they sing along with the radio screaming “It’s the end of the world as we know it…and I feel fiiinnneee!” What follows is the cacophony of the riders attempting to keep up with the next verse, jumbling the lyrics and accompanied by more outbursts of giggles and hysterics.  All except for John, who sits in the back gazing somberly out the window at the passing street lights and looming skyscrapers.

The cadre arrives at their destination: an extravagant night club, stories high and lined around the exterior with would be habitants, decked out in eclectic mixes of neon hair colors, black leather, vibrant vinyl, eccentric t-shirts and a splash of denim. The crew eagerly gets in line, their hearts racing with the vibrations of the bass pulsing out from within the building. Scott and Tom bullshit about work, Adam chats it up with another girl waiting in line, and Cliff smokes a cigarette while bitching to John about his girlfriend problems. He pauses after a bit, seeing John’s vacant gaze and forced grin.

     ”Dude, you alright?” Cliff inquires, lighting up another smoke.
     ”I’m alright,”  John shrugs in response to his friend.
     ”You’ve just been kind of a bummer this whole trip, man.”
     ”I’m fine dude, thanks. Just…kind of a long day.”

Long day. Long weeks. Long nights. Vivid details, with the sky turned to fire and the seas running with blood. Images of horrors plaguing him that even if he could find a proper way to describe them to his friends, he dared not to out of fear for being taken as a mad man. He is mad, he tells himself, he knows this. All of this, the hoopla and doomsayers….irrational. Improbable. Impossible.

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rollerderp:

EXPECTATION:

REALITY:

In the early pre dawn hours I awoke with poetry in my head

Words intertwined mine with those of other poets I respect

The young latin boy standing tall hand on narrow hip screaming,

“Miriam … throw down the baby! I’ll catch it I swear.”

The bright brotha with the mohawk, pointed, fierce,

“We built this shit here! We built this. The touch, The feel of cotton? It’s the fabric of our lives.”

Words intertwined.

Singing to me in the early pre dawn hours.

I remember and read often one written by a most lovely woman

A great friend mirroring my own stanzas with,

“Oh do not rush your love to bind her fast, She comes to the calm and patient at last.”

A Fisherman’s Lament

A longing for love in those melancholy words

And I remember a night not too long ago When Billie Holliday told me in a smoke filled den

That no one, no one would ever love you like I do

“When first I saw you I fell in love and you smiled because you knew.”

I was awakened in the early pre dawn hours

Not by an urge to write but by a need to purge

My late night beer binge

The words were there swinging free in my mind the words of poets

Both great and small

The Working Poor woman in her Sisyphean struggle,

“Riding the Middle Passage from home to work”

The one time gangsta who

“Loaded my tec, put on my bullet proof vest and flexed.”

Even he realized that they didn’t have to go there in the end.

Lyrics in my head

Screaming to be free

My Dearest Heart

There is one thing that can’t be learned
It’s a thing that must be earned
Though you fuss and though you fight
This must be earned if you’d take flight

It’s not a matter of numbers or words
It can’t be seen and it can’t be heard
It’s not a thing that can be smelt
It is a thing that must be felt

Now don’t you fret and don’t you pout
I will tell you what I’m on about
This thing is what I speak of
This thing is love

I found it once not long ago
And before it came I didn’t know
What sort of things that love could do
That was when I fell for you

Little bird who can’t sit still
I think we need a chillout pill
Dancing singing Coo-coo Ca-choo
I found love when I found you

And now you are a little girl
Who likes to run and hop and twirl
One thing though you you should never forget
My love won’t change a single bit

So tall,
So strong,
So very smart
My love you are my Dearest Heart

It seems that my life is often a thing I must find
Scribbled on trains and slapped with stickers
Depicting the rightless ruled
and the coming times.
It shows itself to me
In Black and White Depth of Field
Dragging me into the vision laid out for me
Rarely the one I see for myself
I dangle high above it afraid
My Swing Chains breaking leaving me falling
I realize I’ve been up here for so long I no longer need them
A tranquil fog masking the truth beneath me
I fall - Free
I don’t know what to do so what I do is never enough
Fuck you for taking those distorted images of my life
Fuck you for painting those trains and slapping those stickers on my life
Fuck me for believing you real
The swing soothes my soul
It’s like flying, then falling
Like life
And now it’s gone from beneath me and there is nothing but the ground beneath my feet
And so I will stand my ground alone like I always have
Bottle of Red Horse in Magic Hands

Inhibition
I do it for you not for me
I do it so you don’t feel uncomfortable.
Silly me I know

Reservation
I hold it back for you not me
I do it so you don’t feel overwhelmed
Silly me I know

Desperation
I feel it because of you not me
I feel it because you fear loss
Silly me I know

Trust
It must be a free flowing thing
It must be whole and complete
Or it dies

Love
It must be set free to be love
It can’t be bottled or constrained
Or it dies

Passion
It must be free to express itself
It must be intertwined and tightly woven
Or it falls apart

Depression
Upon us all now and then
It’s a blindside emotion
Full of regret and loss

So blue

But they are just words to you
Things that express things that have no meaning
A series of ways to tell the world how you feel
In a voice bigger than you deserve

A sigh says as much as a melancholy eye
And way more than your words
Words you live by
Words you dream are somewhere true

Desire
Peace
Knowledge
Understanding
Wisdom

Without them your world means nothing and
With them you are at a loss
Floundering on the wings of meaning
And the impact on your feeble mind is maddening

Wrestle with your words
Fight for your hopeless quest for meaning
Reach out for understanding like a sapling reaching for
Life giving sunlight

If you must … If you feel it’s worth something
They are just words you hack
You bum
You mediocre scribbler

They are just words

Words that ring with a deep resonance
Words that sing, and laugh and play
Words that sting and sober
Words that kill

Words can kill

Just words are just bullets
Timed to strike their targets at the heart
And spin them into oblivion
Down into suffering and sorrow

Inhibition
I feel it because I am afraid of loss
Of never having had
Of never seeing what is right in front of me
I do it because of me not you

Reservation
I hold back because I am unsure
I do it out of desire and longing
I do it because giving is perilous
I suffer because of me not you

Desperation
I panic because the days tick by
And I have not yet seen your face
And I am terrified that I never will
And it makes me insane
I am insane because of me
Not You

Words
Just words
Nothing more

From the clouds in my sky she is a ray of light. She is my love and my muse. She is my reason to smile. She is inescapable. I can see her. She shines in my eyes. The image of her being is burned into  me. She is everything. Look at her, there she is but you cannot see her.

All you can see is that she’s hot. Any fool with two eyes and a brian in his head can see that. She is more than body, flesh and blood, a warm place to lay when the world draws you weary. She is more than something for you to hold and share and show to your friends. You see her and she is something to be had. You see her and she is something to make yours. What you don’t see is how sexy she is. What you don’t see is how powerful she is. What you don’t see is the way her natural state flows in the sway of her hips and down into the earth herself. I however see her. She shines in my eyes. My gaze when I look upon her fierce for I wish to absorb her. I wish to know her. I wish to walk with her and so she gravitates to me. As bound by her attraction as we are to the very soil beneath our feet. And so she does things for me that you will never see. She rises when I call for my voice is a delectation to her ears.

She showed me her heart and I respected that and offered mine in return, completely and without reservation. For that I will always have her. She will always love me. Our spirits will dance together in the mists of eternity. She is my ray of light, my love and my muse, my reason and she is inescapable. I can see her. She shines in my eyes. The image of her being is burned into me. She is everything. Look at her. See her. Remember her.

I woke up at the crack of alarm ‘oclock
Memories of whiskey still fresh in my viens
Sunlight searing behind my eyes
I blink
Bladder warning me of urgent need
Morning my bitter foe we meet yet again
I tackle him and move myself onward
Do the day, let not the day do you
The mantra plays itself
Echoing in the amphitheatre of my dome
The acoustics pitch perfect
The day is only as good as you make it
And today is a damned fine day

The Element of Fire

Slow and smouldering lying low beneath the cool layer above
I wander the world in almost total control
Almost total control
Hot inside

Stalking slowly through the masses I see the object of my desire
She shimmers there on the edge of the crowd and I focus intent
The furnace stirs and I blow the smoke from my lungs
Fragrant and thick

I fuel myself with 80 proof
Inside the song rages bass deep
Vibrations stoking the heat feeding the flame
I stand, feet on the ground, conscience hovering above scanning
Bellows working feeding the flame

My theme rages inside me
“I am the Dragon King
And I’m more than I seem”
And spews forth in lyrical stucatto
I’m in my element

Tomorrow beckons with unheeded persistence
The night is now and I revel in the moment
Hedonistic and free, feeling myself
Tomorrow can wait

I burn
For me
For her
Forever

I burn because it’s what I do
Because it’s what I am
Because to cool and fall to sleep is not an option
It’s death